Tulpa.info - tulpa-questions

In other words, give them reason to strive towards it yourself.

12:30 PM

...hah. Not having expectations is also excellent, even if you have hopes.

I don't want her to feel bad about something that's 100% my fault

@SkyeNet thanks, I do love her, maybe I should explain why I do and explain why I like feeling that way

Hah. Don't feel bad yourself if they don't turn out the way you envision. Personality is determined by experience and your own genetics (if you've heard of the nature vs nurture debate, this should be familiar). The "nature" is already set. The "nurture" is essentially impossible to perfectly guide to a specific end.

12:33 PM

Do the best you can, and they should turn out fine - not perfect, but fine.

12:33 PM

@Deleted User Excellent.

12:34 PM

If it helps as well, try thinking of yourself if you were in the tulpa's position and were being forced. How would you judge it retrospectively?

12:35 PM

That won't be perfect either, but it is a good perspective to try viewing things from once in awhile, for the sake of empathy.

I imagine being spoken to and desperately trying to speak back but also being entirely unable to. Kinda scary now that I think about it

That gives me some major motivation

I'm not trying to discourage

12:40 PM

If anything it makes me want to develope my tulpa even more, so we can finally break down that wall together

I understand

12:40 PM

I feel the same way now

12:41 PM

Before I was trying to pull her out of what I thought to be a bottomless pit

12:41 PM

But now

12:41 PM

It's like you said

12:41 PM

This is a wall we have to break down

12:41 PM

Together

Imagine how good it will feel to finally be able to speak with our tulpae after having this idea of who they are for so long in our heads

12:43 PM

I can only assume it will feel just as good for them

Same here

Hah.

12:51 PM

If symbolizing it like that gives you motivation to continue, by all means.

12:52 PM

It may be more subtle than that, as they certainly don't pop into existence the instant you start thinking about them - they develop with experience, and it takes time both for you to hear them and for them to speak on their own in the first place.

12:52 PM

One thing I do recommend is not assuming any responses you seem to receive are necessarily your tulpa... or necessarily not them. Unless it is clear, simply accepting that you don't know one way or the other is perfectly okay.

I know It's not exactly like that, but i remember one time I high school when I went to speak with one of my teachers about something, when I tried to speak nothing came out. Idk if It's cause I was a bit dehydrated or not but it definitely spooked me. I could talk again after drinking some water tho.

1:05 PM

Thats just the closest thing I can relate with being unable to talk back to someone

1:11 PM

Also, will listening allot to a certain genera/ artist affect my tulpa's taste in music?

...maybe?

1:14 PM

It might affect it, or it might not. There isn't a particularly clear way to tell for sure, and it isn't something that will matter to any large degree in this case.

Yea, just curious

1:16 PM

Thanks, btw

Of course.

1:16 PM

I'm here to help.

[I don't really get why so many seem to want a "kind and loving tulpa" I mean I kinda get it but I just feel off hearing it. Like inducing those naive hero types or something. Sigh idk]

I suppose. Most people typically want kind and loving individuals in their life in general, particularly noes that are close to them.

Raise your tulpa right and they turn out that way anyway

2:11 PM

People like.. take traits they wish they had or wish people around them had and then turn them into tulpas

2:11 PM

I think I've made it clear that I personally don't believe in personality forcing

This is also true. They do typically try to make a tulpa that has their own desired traits.

2:11 PM

If they do try to force a specific personality, at least. (edited)

Though ofc teaching your tulpa positive values is a good thing, just not forcing them to be that way

Indeed.

I wrote "I don't believe in" and my fingers typed "wonderlands" LOL

[I wasn't really personality forced much... I think? But Sete did expouse the merits of selfishness and just doing whatever I felt like early on.]

I suppose it is the difference between being told to "never lie" or "be kind to your neighbor" because somebody with authority said so - relative to understanding why one shouldn't lie in most situations or be kind to others in most situations.

I was personality forced a lot, it had short term effect before actual life experiences shaped me

[Mmmm, he would be wonderful at raising children. Xd]

Fortunately, selfishness combined with thought and consideration of how people behave leads to relative selflessness.

Trying to make your tulpa be "quiet and shy" or "extrovertive and talkative" are things I don't agree with at all though

Agreed.

[Hah, can't argue with that. "If selflessness feels good it's the selfish thing to do" or something like that.]

I suppose.

kind and loving =/= naive/hero

2:27 PM

loving just means that you care, and that you show in your actions. There's all sorts of ways to show genuine care for someone.

This is true.

She means like, people act like their tulpas are going to be Mary Sues instead of real people

Though, people's interpretations of 'kind and loving' can certainly be a bit extreme in some cases.

well we all start out feeling invincible when young, don't we

2:36 PM

it's experience that shapes us

[Not really. I just feel off on the concept because it kinda goes against who I am personally. Kind and loving may work out in reality? Dunno. Personality forcing is weird to me anyway.]

Being kind and loving to those close to you does tend to work out quite well for your own ends. (edited)

2:38 PM

Gaining trust is not to be underestimated.

being just, caring towards others does wonders to your internal state.

2:40 PM

There's just so much to gain by shunting out the parts of you that just keep repeating that people are not worth of love, because that shit just ends up 100% on you, you're the one keeping that in your head

This is true.

2:41 PM

Maintaining generally negative thought does certainly solidify itself in your own head.

Since im sharing my mind with her down that mean she can hear every passing thought I have?

If she is awake/active yeah

I have negative sometimes uncontrollable thoughts that just slip out and I don't wanna hurt her if she were to hear them

3:31 PM

What do I do?

Uh

3:32 PM

Don't think about her during those times

Got it

My host does that sometimes...

I think

Some people have said that they've established mental barriers through symbolism that keep the tulpa from hearing their thoughts, or that simply asking them to give them privacy is enough. But considering that your tulpa is a for-life thing, most people have stopped caring about privacy altogether.

It won't hurt her to notice that you have those thoughts, just as much as it doesn't hurt you to occasionally have those thoughts.

3:33 PM

People occasionally have negative thoughts. It happens.

3:33 PM

You can try to use symbolism to separate them if you really want to, but it isn't exactly necessary by any means.

almost everyone has intrusive thoughts. I don't see any reason a tulpa would be particularly upset by them. They know what you really mean.

You're right

yeah they kinda, see the inner struggle. They're quite understanding on that front (edited)

I've never had someone that can understand me on this level before (edited)

first time for everything

The wonders of sharing a brain with someone :P

Yeah no kidding

It certainly will be something different.

I was also worried that people would think I'm crazy if they knew about Natt

3:45 PM

But I said screw it

3:45 PM

As long as I have her with me I could care less what people say

Well. I wouldn't recommend telling everyone you meet about Natt. Tact is quite useful.

^

3:57 PM

Well I mean

3:57 PM

Yeah of course not

3:57 PM

But if they were to find out yknow? (edited)

well if they find out don't hide it

3:58 PM

I can't imagine your tulpa would like it if you denied their existence